المساعد الشخصي الرقمي

مشاهدة النسخة كاملة : A boy with a hat


Miss CoCo
04-13-2012, 02:48 PM
peace on you frinds
as usual ..this is brand new writing
not too evil
for light of dawn sake
:angel: she seems too kind to frighten her with evil
:006: so ..lets begin
.......................

http://im12.gulfup.com/2012-04-13/1334317307851.jpg (http://www.monms.com/vb)

.......................

To sing that song ..


You won't take long


It's a song of a tale


Maybe true ..or wrong


About that rose


That evil rose


What a cold heart


No warm she shows


Her maid was a boy


He was wearing a hat


To hide his looks ..to bury his heart


Our evil princess


Used to call him the rat


One day in the castle


In that fancy room


((remove that ..dirty hunts


Away ..a way


Is that’s a beautiful scene ..to start a day ))


our rat was there


((what a magical eyes


What a charming bloom ))


Just when she walked a way


They start the doom


Now tell me your opinion on all of that


You need to know ..there was a boy with hat


…………………


Days and days


What's the rule she plays


That beautiful rich


That evil beast ..which is which


The people bored


No more patience to hold


The castle was destroyed


And she was there


In the lock of regret


Among that ugly walls


Dark and wet


Chained by blood and crimes


But there was a choice


From a voice


She used to ignore


All these times


Here come the spring


The bells will ring


A after the devil will killed


Again we will build


Did you hear all that


My point is ..there was a boy with a hat


……………..


Years and years


But with out change


The same darkness


with different age


there was whisper


From ear to ear


of course all of us


had to share


((they killed a person


Wasn't there aim


Can that be true


There wasn't some one


Looks the same


And every one


Said there was a ghost


Every day ..walks on the cost


What doesi t look for


Just for more


I don,t want ..who was wrong or right


His only goal ..to see her smiles


Its pleasure his soul ..close up the miles


That tale of the winter's fire


About the sad ...love and desire


I don't want ..who was wrong or right


The important thing ..we will take in sight


That boy was missing …that boy with the hat




an that,s all

I hope you liked it




see ya :evil_lol:

A H M E A D
04-13-2012, 02:58 PM
Welcome my sister
How are you?
I hope you're in good mood
Let's start

I liked the beginning a lot because
it gave a good introduction to the poem
The boy description was perfect

The girl was exploitative

But it seems that the boy was trying to satisfy her
selfishness
The end of the poem were not the beautiful as
the beginning of the poem
I'm sorry
I wished that you're good mood for my opinion
Hahahahaha
I think the boy has served this girl
until the end
Great poem
God bless you my sister



Bye:icon31:

تيماري ساما
04-13-2012, 03:03 PM
thank you very much my dear
Days and days
What's the rule she plays
That beautiful rich
That evil beast ..which is which
The people bored
No more patience to hold
The castle was destroyed
And she was there
In the lock of regret
Among that ugly walls
very butiful poem
very butiful words
we weating your new
se you

ضوء الفجر
04-13-2012, 03:10 PM
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله ..
ماشاء الله تبارك الرحمن .. وانا اللي قلت لازم لي اول رد .. XPP
خيو احمد ..:icon28:
im kidding .. منووورة الصفحة خيو ..^^
..
الموضوع ما ينفع اعلق عليه بكلمتين .. ابدااا
لي عودة ... ... >> >

baaack
welcome sis ..
after i read this topic .. i wonder... how you get all of this evill
XDD
masha allah on your Imagination
how wonderful .. how scare ..
is it enough to describe it
but wait there is more .. let me see
mmm.. all of what you wrote .. i liked it
from the first letter to the last lettrs
but what interesting me .. more than any thing..
when you described the well .. blood .. wet and dark and so on
its really whats surprised me
masha allah on you
^^
and what else ..
the last chapter ..
really i want to response on word word .. but i think this will annoyed you ><
ماشاء الله .. كان شامل و مكمل لكل اللي قلتيه
واكثر جزء شرير ومرعب كان هو
لو كل شي يعيد ويزيد .. القلعة ترجع تنبني .. وضاحايا ثانين يجو .. >> what the ....
but its too much
اعتقد اني استمتعت اكثر شي بهذا الجزء
sooooo beautiful.. sooo evil
^^

mmmm...
with that .. i knew he was kindlly .. cause.. as you said
His only goal ..to see her smiles
after all..i think i can forgive him
and with smile too
i felt by his kindness from this sentence
><
حبيت الولد كثير .. تسالت عن سبب وجوده في البداية
واكتشفت ان ما كان حيمشي شي بدونه .. ^^
يا اااااخ..
i liked this boy
^^
i want to complite ..really i enjoyed .. a lot a lot a lot
but .. اعتقد اني طولت كفاية ><
thanks a lot sis coc
^^
ايش العقل الشرير اللي مخبيته خيتو ..
حبيت الفكرة كثير خيتو .. الف شكر لابداعك
حماكي المولى ورعاكي
انتظر جديدك بفارغ الصبر

A H M E A D
04-13-2012, 08:10 PM
[QUOTE=ضوء الفجر;726218]وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله ..

ماشاء الله تبارك الرحمن .. وانا اللي قلت لازم لي اول رد .. XPP
خيو احمد ..:icon28:
im kidding .. منووورة الصفحة خيو ..^^

I'm sorry my sister
:sweatdrop:Hahahahaha
You are the first no doubt
And
Your comment is the most beautiful
Wait for your comment on the poem
God bless you

ضوء الفجر
04-15-2012, 02:56 PM
تم فك الحجز .. ^^

QUOTE] I'm sorry my sister
:sweatdrop:Hahahahaha
You are the first no doubt
And
Your comment is the most beautiful
Wait for your comment on the poem
God bless you

[/QUOTE]

haha.. لا ماينفع خلاص .. :icon28:
جاري وضعك في القائمة السوداء ..
im kidding bro
^^
thanks a lot
بالعكس خيو .. ماشاء الله انت من الاعضاء المميزين اللي استنى ردودهم
والجميع يشهد لك بتميزك وردودك الجميلة والداعمة
بارك الله فيك
^^

Miss CoCo
04-16-2012, 02:52 PM
Welcome my sister

How are you?
welcome bro
glad to see you:shiny01:

I hope you're in good mood
Let's start
hhhhhh...yes yes the mood is fine
I liked the beginning a lot because
it gave a good introduction to the poem
The boy description was perfect
glad to know that ...i thougt that the beginning wasthe weakest part:4f7c50bc2e7eee3c450
The girl was exploitative
why ..the boy do that ..she didn,t force him to:4f7c50bc2e7eee3c450
But it seems that the boy was trying to satisfy her
selfishness
The end of the poem were not the beautiful as
the beginning of the poem
I'm sorry
hhhhhh..no need to apologaize .. just wait and see how i, look when some one opposite my opinion..just kidding
I wished that you're good mood for my opinion
Hahahahaha
I think the boy has served this girl
until the end
Great poem
God bless you my sister

and you too bro ..you too


Bye:icon31:

:shiny01: see ya

Miss CoCo
04-16-2012, 03:01 PM
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله ..

ماشاء الله تبارك الرحمن .. وانا اللي قلت لازم لي اول رد .. XPP
خيو احمد ..:icon28:
im kidding .. منووورة الصفحة خيو ..^^
..
الموضوع ما ينفع اعلق عليه بكلمتين .. ابدااا
لي عودة ... ... >> >

baaack
welcome sis ..
wekcome sis ..nice to see you here
after i read this topic .. i wonder... how you get all of this evill
XDD
:D it wasn,t that evil
masha allah on your Imagination
how wonderful .. how scare ..
is it enough to describe it
but wait there is more .. let me see
mmm.. all of what you wrote .. i liked it
that,s from your kindness:009:
from the first letter to the last lettrs
but what interesting me .. more than any thing..
when you described the well .. blood .. wet and dark and so on
its really whats surprised me
masha allah on you
^^
and what else ..
the last chapter ..
really i want to response on word word .. but i think this will annoyed you ><
ماشاء الله .. كان شامل و مكمل لكل اللي قلتيه
واكثر جزء شرير ومرعب كان هو
لو كل شي يعيد ويزيد .. القلعة ترجع تنبني .. وضاحايا ثانين يجو .. >> what the ....
but its too much
اعتقد اني استمتعت اكثر شي بهذا الجزء
sooooo beautiful.. sooo evil
^^

mmmm...
with that .. i knew he was kindlly .. cause.. as you said
His only goal ..to see her smiles
after all..i think i can forgive him
and with smile too
i think he will be glad to know that
i felt by his kindness from this sentence
><
حبيت الولد كثير .. تسالت عن سبب وجوده في البداية
واكتشفت ان ما كان حيمشي شي بدونه .. ^^
كيف اشكرك يا اااااخ..
i liked this boy
^^
sure you have to like him
he gave her life for the person he loved :008:
i want to complite ..really i enjoyed .. a lot a lot a lot
but .. اعتقد اني طولت كفاية ><
thanks a lot sis coc
^^
ايش العقل الشرير اللي مخبيته خيتو ..
حبيت الفكرة كثير خيتو .. الف شكر لابداعك
حماكي المولى ورعاكي

انتظر جديدك بفارغ الصبر

ما بعرف كيف اشكرك على ذوقك
تسلميلي :thumbup:

آفـــــــآاق
04-16-2012, 04:03 PM
شكراً مس كوكو
على اكلام الجميل
سلمت الأنامل الذهبية
على الابداع الراقي ..~

Miss CoCo
04-16-2012, 04:05 PM
شكراً مس كوكو
على اكلام الجميل
سلمت الأنامل الذهبية
على البداع الراقي ..~

تسلميلي على الرد الذهبي افوقه
مشكوره عالمرور :blush-anim-cl: